Using objects to stimulate sexual intercourse is ancient. In fact, the use of phallic objects (made from materials like wood, stone, and leather) for sexual pleasure can be traced back to thousands of years ago. 

While many of these were held in-place manually, some were made to be worn. Even so, the specific form of the strap-on dildo as we know it today has evolved significantly over time. 

It was in the 20th century that we saw the rise of the modern strap-on. Thanks to the sexual revolution in the 60’s and 70’s, there was a bigger demand and thus an increase in sex toys, including strap-ons. 

And with this sexual development, the strap-on became a more common and acceptable part of sexual exploration for those who wanted to indulge in same-sex penetration and role reversal or pegging.

Strap-On Dildos: How They Work and Who Should Use Them

Having taken a little gander at the history of strap-on dildos, we’re going to move forward by talking about the ins and outs such as:

• what they are
• how to wear them
• how to use them
• who they’re for
• sex positions to try whilst wearing one

And we'll give you a few of our favourite strap-on dildo recommendations. 

So if strap-on dildos intrigue you, you’re hoping to give them a go, you’re unsure of something specific, or you’re looking for a new one, you’ll surely get the 411 here. 

Before we start, let’s just say that strap-on dildos are not just for lesbian women. You’d be surprised at how versatile and great they are to use in the bedroom for all kinds of play… 

What Is a Strap-on Dildo & How Do They Work?

Let’s start at the beginning, shall we? What is a strap-on dildo? 

A strap-on dildos is a sex toy that is phallic-shaped and designed for sexual penetration. It’s attached to a harness, which is then worn by one person. The wearer of the strap-on is then able to penetrate their partner either vaginally or anally.

A strap-on dildo is made up of:

• A dildo: a phallic-shaped sex toy that’s usually made of silicone, rubber, or latex. A dildo can come in various different shapes, sizes, colours, and designs. Some may look more realistic than others—it all depends on preference.
• A harness: The harness is what is worn around the waist and hips, and the dildo is then attached to it, holding it in-place. It could come with adjustable straps, be a panty-style harness, or have a vacuum-lock system, which uses a vacuum to attach the dildo.

It’s important to note that sometimes you can buy the dildo and the harness together and other times you can buy the harness and the dildo separately. 

How Do Strap-on Dildos Work?

A strap-on dildo works by creating the opportunity for one partner to penetrate the other. 

Because it’s phallic-shaped, it can penetrate someone either vaginally or anally. This can be pleasurable for people of all genders and sexual orientations. We’ll touch more on that below.

How to Put a Strap On-Dildo On

As we mentioned the harness above, the person who is going to give penetration will first put on the harness. It’s important that the harness fits well and securely so that it doesn’t shift or move during use. 

How exactly does a strap-on harness work? Here’s a comprehensive description of the most traditional kind of harness…

The O-ring: The strap-on harness will come with an O-ring which is vital to the function of the strap-on because this is what will secure the dildo in-place for hands-free use. The O-ring should fit the circumference of your dildo—the better the match, the better it’ll stay in-place.

Fasteners: There are some strap-ons that have fasteners. These fasteners keep the O-ring in-place. They could be snaps, made of velcro, or be permanently sewn in.

The Centrepiece: known as the “driver’s pad” is the material that’s located over the wearer’s crotch area. Usually it is aesthetically-pleasing and helps to balance the dildo against the wearer’s body.

Leg Strap: This will be adjustable to fit correctly depending on your leg size. The leg straps should fit snug around your bottom but they’re adjustable, which means you can find the most comfortable fit for you.

Waist Size Adjustment: The place where you can secure the strap-on harness around your hips/low waist. Most harnesses are not worn at the waist line, but rather significantly lower so that the dildo is in-line with the wearer’s pubic bone. Bear this in mind when you adjust the waist.

There are other types of harnesses such as a/an:

• Underwear style: varies from basic briefs to lingerie, which has no straps and a sewn-in O-ring
• Convertible: the straps connect directly to O-ring with or without the centrepiece
• Alternative: worn on a different part of the body, such as the chest, chin, leg etc.

Then, what about picking out the dildo you want to use with your strap-on harness?

First you’ll want to consider compatibility. If you are going to use the harness types mentioned above, the dildo you choose will have to have a flared base. This will hold it in-place with a well-fitted O-ring. You can also do your homework to find out if any dildo, in particular, is harness-compatible by reading the product description.

Then, you may want to consider size. In this case, remember that it will be worn, which means that there are variables to consider such as bellies, bottoms, angles of penetration etc. For that reason, you may want to buy a longer one just in case.

Finally, once you’ve found your perfect match, and the strap-on harness and the dildo are on and secure, penetration can occur. Both partners can get themselves in a position that is comfortable for them. It could be standing up, lying down, or any other position that feels good. 

The person who is wearing the strap-on dildo will be the one to penetrate their partner. The wearer is then able to control and adjust the speed, depth, and angle of penetration based on their partner’s response and preferences.

Who Are They For?

Many people believe that strap-on dildos are only used by lesbian women. But that couldn’t be further from the truth. 

“People often associate harness play with particular gender roles, sexualities, and identities, but these associations end up being harmful rather than helpful. Specific sexual acts do not define your identity if you don’t want them to,” says Amy Boyajian, co-founder and CEO of an online sex toys boutique. 

So, let’s discuss all of the different types of individuals who can use a strap-on dildo with their partner:

Men with erectile dysfunction: Erectile dysfunction (ED) is when a penis-owner has a difficult time or is unable to achieve or sustain an erection suitable for intercourse. In this case, a hollow strap-on dildo could just be the easiest and less-invasive way in which to engage in penetration with your partner. A hollow strap-on dildo is one that has a hollow centre. And once a man puts their penis in it, whether they’re completely limp or fully erect, they’ll have an instant, hard erection, making it perfect for those with ED.

Men who want to give their vulva-owning partner double penetration: For this, one could consider a cock ring with a dildo attached, or a strap-on that’ll sit side-by-side with their penis. In this way, their penis can enter one orifice while the strap-on dildo can enter the other. While this mode of double penetration (vaginal and anal sex) is possible, it isn’t always very practical and the angels are difficult to get right.

Women who want to give their penis-owning partner anal penetration: This is known as “pegging” and it involves a woman wearing a strap-on dildo and penetrating their penis-owning partner anally. Practising this can be pleasurable and erotic, but also a way in which to play with gender roles.

Women who want to give their vulva-owning partner vaginal penetration: For two women who want to experience penetration, they could experiment with several types of penetrative sex toys, but using a strap-on adds in a new layer of intimacy with more skin-to-skin contact. It’s also a way in which to play with gender roles and experience something new.

Sexual Position Recommendations Using a Strap-on Dildo

There are a plethora of sex positions using a strap-on and what’s fun is that they’re suitable for everyone. Fancy giving any of these a try?

6 Strap-on Sex Positions For Beginners

	Cow Girl In this position, the receiving partner is on top and has control over the speed and depth of penetration. This takes away some of the anxiety the giver may be experiencing concerning how to and when to thrust. It’s also a great position for some handsy play, such as the giver stimulating their partner’s penis or clitoris.
	Spooning An intimate strap-on penetrative sex position that doesn’t require much effort nor professional thrusting. Have the giver of penetration be the big spoon, thrust, and possibly reach around to stimulate the receiver’s genitals or nipples.
	Butterfly Have the receiving partner lie down on a bed with their legs bent at the waist and straight up while the giver will stand on the floor at the edge of the bed. The receiver’s legs will then rest on the giver’s shoulder’s, which will lift their hips to make strap-on penetration possible.
	Missionary Have the giver of penetration be on top and take control, and perhaps give the receiver a pillow to prop under their hips. The receiver can also move their legs to find the best angle that’s most pleasurable for them.
	Sandwich Designed for anal sex with eye contact, the sandwich strap-on penetratrive sex position is intimate and pleasurable. Have the receiver lie back and bring their knees up toward their chest. Then, the giver will slide between their partner’s legs and grab the back of their thighs, which they can use for leverage while thrusting.
	Rear Have the receiving partner lie down on their tummy, making it easy for the giver to climb on top and enter them from behind, allowing for anal sex with ease.

4 Strap-on Sex Positions for More Experienced Players

	Bouncing spoon The giver will sit on the floor, wearing their strap-on and their partner will straddle their lap whilst facing away from them and kneeling. This may require the giver to scoot their butt a little away from the wall to make room for their partner’s legs, but once both are comfortable, this is an excellent position for those whose knees and legs aren’t all that strong.
	Pearly gates The giver will lie down on their back while the receiver will get on top of their partner, also face up. The giver can then thrust from below, bending their knees and using their feet for leverage on the bed for better thrusting. In this position, the giver can also wrap around and caress their partner’s chest or genitals.
	The Turtle The receiver will kneel on the bed or floor, reaching back around their legs with their arms. The giver will then kneel behind the giver with their knees on the outside. During this position, the receiver may find it more comfortable to have a pillow to rest their head or chest.
	Amazon The giving partner will lie on their back with their knees pulled toward their chest so that they can penetrate their partner from below. The receiver will then sit on the back of their giving partner’s thighs.

Choosing Which Strap-on Dildo Is Best for You

If you’ve decided that you’re ready or very much excited about buying a strap-on dildo, there are a few things to keep in mind. Here are some things to consider when choosing which strap-on dildo is best for you…

Choosing your harness

First decide which style of strap-on harness you’d like. The two main styles being the underwear style and the strap-on style. What is most recommended is the strap-on style because they’re easier to fit snugly to the body. 

Then you could choose between the thong style or the jockstrap style. The jockstrap is most popular because it has straps around each of the butt cheeks and waist. Plus, it is more comfortable for penis owners as it has a place for the testicles.

If you decide to go for an underwear-style harness, be sure to take careful measurements of your thighs and waist before buying it.

Once you’ve decided which type of harness you want, think about the material. Harnesses can be made from rope, leather, neoprene, nylon, spandex, polyester, or a mix of these. We recommend getting a material that’s machine-washable so that you don’t have to worry about germs, and so that you can get lube out easier.

Other things you may consider when choosing a harness:

• Some harnesses come with a built-in pocket for a bullet vibrator which is fun for clitoral stimulation
• Some harnesses come with a vibrating cock ring
• Some harnesses come with rings that can be changed and some have rings that are permanently in-place. Make sure the ring will fit your dildo

Choosing your dildo

The size, style, and material of your dildo matters. When it comes to the material, we suggest going for something that is body-safe and non-porous. Porous sex toys hold and trap bacteria, making it harder to clean, and which is not very safe for continuous use. 

Some non-porous materials include silicone, stainless steel, glass, pyrex, and ABS plastic. In this case, silicone may just be your best and safest bet. But make sure the dildo is not too soft, as it’ll be challenging to insert.

Materials to avoid are thermoplastic rubber (TPR), thermoplastic elastomer (TPE), and polyvinyl chloride (PVC), all of which are porous.

After this, you may consider the size and shape of your dildo. Everyone has their own desires so it’s all about satisfying your size and girth preferences. You could also ask yourself:

• Do I want a dildo that looks like a penis?
• Do I want a smooth or textured dildo?
• What length and thickness is optimal for me, considering that it’ll be worn by my partner

Two final tips that’ll help you on your strap-on dildo adventure:

• make sure that the harness and the dildo that you choose (if they are separate) are compatible
• Have a lot of lube on-hand, especially if you’re going to be experiencing anal penetration

Now it’s time for the most sassy portion of this article… checking out some of our favourite strap-on dildos. 

Product Recommendations

	Fun Factory Share Vibe Pro Vibrating Strapless Strap-On A double dildo that’s new generation, this Fun Factory Share Vibe Pro boasts a powerful motor for both partners to enjoy the thrill of sensual vibrations. How does it work? The larger shaft, aka the Fun Factory Share Vibe Pro, is inserted into one partner vaginally, and the shorter shaft is then inserted into the other partner, which is then easy to hold internally for comfy wear and stimulation. Because of its design, it allows for some super up-close-and-personal play, making it an intimate sex toy for those who want to enjoy a strapless strap-on dildo experience.
	Lovense Lapis Double-Ended Vibrating Strapless Strap-On “Two bodies, one shared pleasure,” says Lovense. The Lovense Lapis is designed with a flexible neck so that it can fit and change angles to ensure comfort for both the wearer and the receiver. It comes with three simulations and vibrations, targeting the G-spot, the P-spot (prostate), and the C-spot (clitoris), with its bulb-like structure and ridged grooves. It’s made of body-safe silicone, has three motors, and its vibrations can be synced to your favourite music!
	Happy Rabbit Strapless Strap-On Rabbit Vibe A strapless strap-on dildo comes with 12 tempting vibrations, and is a sex toy for two! It has a slim penetrative shaft and three speeds, is made of soft and velvety silicone, and has a tapered tip for smooth entry. As for its length and girth: 4.5 inches insertable, and 4.5 inches at its girthiest. That, plus it comes with adjustable bunny ears for insatiable clitoral stimulation during play time.
	Her Royal Harness Me2 Remote Rumbler This remote-controlled, dual-motor strap-on sex toy is easy to use, comes with a remote control, is USB-rechargeable, and is made of body-safe material. Her Royal Harness Me2 comes with 10 vibrational settings, a curved shaft, a tickler base, and the ability to work well in water. Use it with your preferred harness for some sensual hands-free play in or out of the water, and enjoy the unique vibrator shape and contoured base.
	ROMP Piccolo Pegging Kit A non-realistic silicone dildo and an adjustable harness is what you’ll find in the ROMP Piccolo Pegging Kit. It’s perfect for beginners and experienced players, comes with a five-inch curved shaft and a flared base, and has been designed to hit all of the sweet spots (the G-spot and the P-spot).
	Fun Factory Ryde Dual Stimulation Grinding Dildo Need a bit of external stimulation during penetration? The Fun Factory Ryde is here for you! It has a unique design, with pleasure grooves and a suction cup base for all kinds of play, allowing for stimulation of the vulva, clitoris, or the anus. It’s a grinding dildo where one end can be rubbed against while the other can penetrate you. Or, if you prefer, you could use this sex toy for double penetration. The freedom of choice is yours.

Having gone through everything there is to know about strap-on dildo, and having a peak at some of our favourites, are you slightly curious to give one a try? It is possible to use them solo too, if that’s something that intrigues you. 

At the end of the day though, to use one for the first time requires time and practice. Take it slow, enjoy it, relax, and see where the adventure takes you.