Fetish, Bondage & BDSM Toys

Fetish, bondage, and BDSM toys are designed to enhance intimacy, exploration, and personal expression between consenting adults. These kinds of toys and experiences are not merely for the physical sensation, but also offer the ability to build trust, increase communication, and discover new dimensions of pleasure and connection.

And did you know? Studies report that 50-70 percent of people have some kinky fantasies or sexual play, and 4-10 percent experience fetishes! This can be for a number of reasons, one of which may be their upbringing. For example, kinks and fetishes exist outside the norm in cultures where discussing sex is taboo.

And even though there are so many different types of sexual fetish, bondage, and BDSM toys available, what unites all of them and this kind of play is the emphasis on consent, safety, comfort, personal choice, and trust. When in the realm of BDSM, the most important tools are mutual respect, clear boundaries, and an open mind.

With that being said, let's discover all of the different kinds of kinks and fetishes, BDSM play, BDSM practices, and toys to go on a new, or continue your journey in this kind of sexual relationship.

Exploring Your Kinks: What is Fetish & BDSM Play?

Fetish & BDSM play are forms of sexual or erotic expression that explore desire, sensation, and power dynamics in a consensual and safe space. While kinks and fetishes often overlap, each have their own focus:

• Fetish play is centred around a specific object, material, or scenario that someone finds arousing. For example leather, latex, have a foot fetish, urophilia (also known as piss play, involving sexual arousal from urination), uniforms. Engaging in fetish play is a way for a person to explore their fetish and fantasies in a controlled and enjoyable way.

• BDSM play is more about a wider range of activities that involve bondage, discipline, dominance, submission, sadism, and masochism. It's not so much about one object or action, but more about the dynamic between partners. 

Here is a definition of BDSM

• Bondage: when a person is restricted in movement with the use of ropes, cuffs, restraints, etc.

• Discipline: setting rules or engaging in play in a structured and consensual way, discussed together with a partner beforehand

• Dominance and submission: the exploration of power exchange, one partner is more dominant and the other is more submissive

• Sadism and masochism: giving or receiving controlled sensations, for example, impact play (such as spanking) for pleasure and excitement. A sadist is the partner who likes to inflict pain, the submissive is the partner who likes to receive the sensations

What Types of Fetish & Bondage Toys Are There?

The amount of fetish & bondage toys available today are immensely creative and diverse. 

Here are the different types of fetish and bondage toys:

Restraints, Cuffs & Bondage Sets

Restraints and cuffs are bondage toys that are designed to limit movement safely and comfortably. Bondage sets often include multiple pieces such as cuffs, ropes, or straps, so there's a chance for you to experiment with different positions and scenarios during a sex scene.

Why do some people love restraint play?

Because it can heighten anticipation and focus the mind on sensation. Both partners, one who is restricted, and the one who is taking control of a partner, can experience building trust while creating a thrilling sense of vulnerability, surrender, and erotic pleasure.

Collars, Leashes & Harnesses

Collars, leashes, and harnesses are often used during power play. They could be used during role play, pet play, or erotic humiliation/humiliation play, or they could simply be used as a manner to decipher who is the dominant partner and who is the submissive partner.

Why do some people love collars, leashes, and harnesses?

There's an element of control to explore here. Wearing a collar can evoke feelings of devotion and trust. Some may like it as they might find guiding a partner with a leash adds a playful or sensual interaction.

Gags, Masks & Blindfolds

Gags restrict speech, masks conceal identity, and blindfolds remove sight. These BDSM toys are often used in sensory play, sexual roleplay, and during dominant and submissive roles. Whether you're using them lightly or more intensely, they're often used to explore sexual fantasies and kinky sex.

Why do some people love gags, masks, and blindfolds?

When one sense is limited, others can be heightened. Thus, touch, sound, and anticipation may be more intense. Gags and masks may be a sexual preference for those who want to explore taboo scenarios safely, and can enhance fantasy play.

Nipple & Breast Fetish Toys

In this category, we're looking at clamps, suckers, and other sex toys designed to stimulate the nipples and breasts in such a way that it enhances pleasure and heightens sexual satisfaction.

Why do some people love nipple and breast fetish toys? 

There's not just a physical stimulation that occurs during nipple or breast play, there's also a psychological one. For many, the stimulation intensifies arousal, makes them feel vulnerable, and adds variety to their sexual arousal. It could also be the aesthetic that is pleasing to the eye, or the symbolic aspect of adornment.

Clitoral Toys

While clitoral sex toys are not exactly BDSM toys (because of what and how they stimulate), they are great tools to use within BDSM experiences as a means to induce power, control, and consent dynamics. For example, using this toy on a partner, the dominant can decide when the toy is on or off, the intensity levels, rhythms, or duration. They can use this device as a means for edge play, orgasm denial, or forced orgasms. They can also be accompanied by other BDSM gear and play such as blindfolds, physical restraint, or rules. 

Why do some people love clitoral toys

Playing with a clitoral toy during a BDSM scene can bring in a sense overwhelm, light frustration, anticipation, loss of control, and vulnerability... all of which some submissive partners love and crave. It's a teasing kind of sex act—which is essentially a core BDSM experience. 

Insertable Toys & Plugs

These kinds of toys, such as anal plugs, vaginal plugs, or dilators can be considered BDSM gear when they're used within power dynamics, control, and psychological play. For example, a dominant partner can control whether insertion happens, how long the toy stays in, and when it's removed. It could also mark "ownership" or "belonging", or for embarrassment or vulnerability. In addition, removing an insertable toy or plug at the height of orgasm can intensify the pleasure ten fold, which the dominant partner would then have control over. These can be used for male partners or female partners, and are not just for heterosexual relationships.

Why do some people love insertable toys & plugs?

It mixes both pleasure and power play, and can be used as a tool of control, symbolism, endurance, ritual, and psychological dominance. This kind of sexual act can bring sexual partners closer together physically and emotionally. 

Whips, Paddles & Impact Toys

These kinds of BDSM toys are for impact play. Impact Play in BDSM involves consensual striking of the body with hands, paddles, whips, or floggers for sensual pleasure. One might use a whip or paddle to lightly tap or create more intense sensations on their submissive's body, which makes both the submissive and the dominant partner sexually aroused. Materials can consist of leather, silicone, wood, rubber, or other, and can be used on various body parts for different kinds of sensations.

Why do some people love whips and paddles? 

Impact play has the ability to create a euphoric rush, a surge of adrenaline, as the submissive experiences pain and pleasure. This kind of play may be ritualistic and psychologically intense, enhancing trust and communication, all the while possibly improving one's sex life.

Sensation Play: Ticklers, Wheels & Temperature Toys

These kinds of toys are used to tease and stimulate the skin. Ticklers, wheels, feathers, as well as temperature-based rituals (like using ice or warm wax) can create a variety of sensations that are surprising, creating anticipation. Temperature play involves using hot and cold sensations to enhance sexual experiences. For example, wax play is dripping or pouring melted wax from a burning candle onto a partner's body.

Why do some people love sensation play? 

This kind of sensation and temperature play explores pleasure in a playful way. One could alternate between gentle touches and sharp sensations, and the experience can include feeling temperature and sensory changes that can heighten sensitivity to which some derive sexual pleasure. 

Electro & Advanced BDSM Gear

Electro-stimulation BDSM gear can go from mild electric currents used during sensation fun to more advanced toys, such as suspension systems and sensory deprivation equipment (sensory deprivation enhances other senses by limiting sight or hearing to create a sense of vulnerability). These are definitely not for beginners.

Why do some people love electro BDSM gear?

They provide intense sensations that can't be replicated with traditional methods. They're a way to challenge boundaries safely, and deepen psychological aspects of BDSM activity, all the while giving sexual gratification.

Chastity & Denial Devices

chastity and denial devices in BDSM are centred around orgasm control, tease and denial, and power exchange. They physically or psychologically restrict someone's ability to touch themselves, get erect, or reach orgasm, usually with the dominant holding a key to the device.

Why do some people love chastity & denial devices?

It can mean handing over complete control of your most intimate bodily function—your arousal and orgasm—which can feel like the deepest form of submission. It's also a constant reminder that someone else "owns your pleasure" which, for some, feels liberating as it helps them escape from the constant pressure to "perform" or chase release.

Different Kinds of BSDM Acts, Kinks and Fetishes for Sexual Satisfaction

While we've mentioned different types of BDSM acts, kinks and fetishes throughout this article, here's a more in-depth glossary with definitions:

• Age play: a form of role play where one or both partners pretend to be a different age, usually young (e.g. "little" acting childlike) or sometimes older/caregiver. This is not always sexual for everyone.

• Foot fetish: a foot fetish is a sexual attraction to feet, toes, ankles, shoes, stockings, or related. Common acts include foot worshipping, kissing, licking, or massaging, smelling, being trampled, or using the feet for stimulation, like foot jobs.

• Breath play: restricting or controlling one's breathing, like choking, smothering, wearing a mask, hand-over-mouth in order to cause sexual arousal from oxygen deprivation control.

• Blood play: being aroused by blood, either by drawing one's own or a partner's blood.

• Cock and ball torture: intentional pain, pressure, or intense sensation applied to the penis and/or testicles, like squeezing, slapping, clamping, stretching, using weights, or kicking.

• Praise kink:  a praise kink is gaining sexual pleasure from receiving verbal affirmations or compliments, like "good boy/girl" or "you're doing so well". 

• Piss play: sexual gratification brought on by urine, such as wetting, drinking, showering in piss, or using it for humiliation.

• Anal sex: penetration of the anus with either a penis, fingers, or toys. In the BDSM sexual context, it can mean training or stretching the anus with plugs, gradual sizing, control, and power exchange.

• Pet play: role playing as animals, for example puppies, kittens, ponies, while acting out their behaviors like crawling, collar/leash, tail plugs, eating from bowls, or training.

• Wax play: dripping or pouring melted candle wax onto skin for heat play.

• Sexual role play: acting out a scenario or acting as a character during sexual play, for example doctor/nurse, teacher/student, boss/employee.

• Oral sex: the stimulation of the genitals with the mouth or tongue, like on the penis or vulva/clitoris, to get sexually aroused.

• Erotic humiliation/humiliation play: deliberately causing embarrassment, shame, or degradation for sexual pleasure, for example verbal insults, objectification, small penis humiliation, forced sexual acts.

• Sex parties: organised events for consensual group sex, kinky sex, voyeurism/exhibitionism, or socialising, for example swingers clubs.

• Temperature play: a sexual fetish or kink using hot or cold sensations to create shock or contrast on the skin (we mentioned wax, another example could be ice).

• Impact play: satisfying a sexual desire by striking the body for sensation/pain, like spanking, flogging, paddling, caning, or whipping.

• Sensation play: sexual behavior that focuses on creating physical feelings, like tickling, feathers, temperature play, or electro-stimulation to derive sexual pleasure.

• Rape fantasy: or "CNC" consensual non-consensual, role playing a scenario that mimics non-consent, such as forced sex, or being kidnapped, with prior consent beforehand.

• Edge play: a sexual fetish or kink that involves intentionally pushing someone close to their physical, emotional, or psychological limit, although it could be a lot milder in that it gets someone close to orgasm and then halting all sources of sexual satisfaction.

• Pregnancy/breeding fetish: a pregnancy/breeding kink refers to being into sex that could result in pregnancy, typically involving one partner ejaculating inside the other. 

• Dirty talk: a sexual fetish or kink involving verbal sexual talk during sexual activity, which can be explicit descriptions, commands, praises, or fantasy, to enhance one's sex life.

JOUJOU's Fetish & Bondage Recommendations:

1. Fetish Fantasy Limited Edition Cumfy Cuffs

These handcuffs, perfect for light restraint play, are lined with velvety-soft faux fur which feels comfortable and looks sexy, all the while keeping your lover restrained. It has super-sturdy metal hardware and a buckle closure to ensure no escaping but all the sensual fun.

2. Scandal Bed Restraints

Give into total immobility and allow the dominant to relinquish control with bed restraints which ensures a lack of movement. It comes with wrist and ankle cuffs that are adjustable and feature a soft and plushy interior that aid in comfort, no matter how hard you strain. Adorned with red brocade fabric, these restraints are not only sensual, but also functional and fun. Try wrapping the tethers under the mattress or around a bedpost and watch in adoration as a submissive spreads out for their dominant's pleasure.

3. Lovense Gemini Vibrating Nipple Clamps

Adjustable vibrating nipple clamps with dual vibrators made for mind-blowing sensations. These clamps from Lovense are great for elevated foreplay and BDSM activities, and can even be worn in public, as they're wearable. They have flexible loops that fit around your neck (or clipped to a bra), and they can be controlled via the Lovense app for all kinds of public and private experiences.

4. ZALO Nave Vibrating Nipple Clamps

Made of luxurious silicone, these vibrating nipple clamps have easy-to-use EasyClamp technology and can be worn by simply pinching the bottom sides of the clamp to open them up, and attaching them to the nipples. It comes with dual motors for powerful stimulation, an additional clamp tip for customisation, and can be used for partnered or solo fun!

5. Scandal Blackout Eyemask

For adventure seekers, beginners, and seasoned players, the Scandal Blackout Eyemask is a designer brocade mask that has a soft double layer, creating total blackout and heightened sensitivity for elevated arousal and intense pleasure. It's also travel sized with a thick elastic strap, so you can have playful fun on-the-go, or use it as a means to get a restful night's sleep after a sensual night.

6. Fetish Fantasy Limited Edition Ultimate Bondage Kit

Why choose one when you can go for a bondage kit? Experiment and explore your fantasies with this ultimate bondage kit that includes a ball gag, a butt plug, a mini Mite vibe, a love mask, handcuffs, nipple chain clips, a hot wax candle, a feather tickler, a Cat O' Nine Tails, a grey silk tie, and ben wa balls.

7. Lady Bonnd Quill Vibrating Feather

Sleek and powerful, this vibrating feather is a versatile teasing device made to stimulate many erogenous zones. It's made of body safe silicone, has a USB-rechargeable lithium-ion battery, is waterproof, has 10 different vibration settings, is easy to clean, and ideal for travel. The perfect way to tap into human sexuality, as you should.

Fetish & BDSM Toys FAQs

What’s the difference between a kink, a fetish & BDSM?

While these three terms are related, they are their own concepts in the world of sexuality. And so, even though many people use them interchangeably, a sex coach, BDSM practitioner, certified sex therapist, community members, and some others knowledgeable in this field, will know the clear differences between them. 

In short; a kink is a non-conformist interest in a sexual activity, while a fetish is a sexual attraction to inanimate objects, body parts, or situations not commonly viewed as being sexual in nature. BDSM and fetishes are related but are distinct concepts under the broader umbrella of kink.

Let's explain in more detail:

A kink is a broad umbrella term, and is usually when someone likes something, in a sexual way, that’s considered non-vanilla or unconventional. 

Some examples of a kink can include:

• role playing

• spanking

• threesomes

• consensual voyeurism

• age play

• urophilia (a fancy name for water sports, golden showers, or pee play)

• praise kink 

• blood play

A fetish is a narrow and specific term, and includes something that someone often needs in order to feel arousal or to achieve orgasm during sexual activity. A fetish is usually a specific object, body part, type of material, or a very particular scenario. Some examples of a fetish can include women smoking, high heels, balloons, stockings, a pregnancy fetish, or a certain body size. 

The term “BDSM” is a specific category of kink. It involves structured activities and power dynamics with the main focus being consensual power exchange, sensation, control, pain/pleasure. Some examples of BDSM include bondage, impact play, dominant and submissive sexual relationships, and sadomasochism. 

Is there a link between certain types of sexual interests and sexual trauma?

Yes. People who have experienced early sexual trauma may find themselves drawn to certain types of sexual interests, which can be confusing or shame-inducing. This could include, but is not exclusive to trauma survivors and those who experienced sexual assault, rape fantasy, certain types of sexual behavior and sexual kinks and fetishes, sex parties, and other sexual practices that may bring about guilt or shame.

I’m brand new to the world of BDSM...Where should I start?

As a beginner, doing your research is super important, so well done for dipping your toe into the world of BDSM practice by learning more about it in theory. The BDSM community places huge importance on doing things safely, ethically, and enjoyably. 

With that, the foundation of this kind of practice has three core principles (SSC):

• Safe: physically and emotionally as low-risk as reasonably possible

• Sane: everyone involved is of a clear state of mind, there's no heavy intoxication, and no one is emotionally compromised

• Consensual: engaging in kink activities should always involve enthusiastic consent from all parties involved

Having said. that, where do you actually begin? Here is a step-by-step guide:

Step one: Self-education

Spend around one to three months reading good beginner material on BDSM sex education before doing anything physical with another person. This will give you time not only to learn more about the lifestyle, but also to find out what you like, what appeals to you, what you don't like, and also to understand red flags, learn basic safety, and build realistic expectations. You could also take the BDSM test, which isn't scientific but may help you figure out what you may enjoy and introduce you to new terminology.

Step two: What are your interests & limits?

See this as a journalling exercise! You can ask and write down specific activities or feelings that excite you. For example, maybe you like the idea of being controlled, receiving pain, being restrained, humiliation? Then, ask yourself: what turns you on or off? What scares you? What are your soft limits (things you're not sure you want to try right now, but perhaps, or maybe at a later time), what are your hard limits (things you definitely do not want to do), what kind of dynamic appeals to you (what power position excites you, do you want to only experiment in the bedroom, live the lifestyle 24/7, play casually?).

Step three: learn the communication basics

There is some lingo and etiquette in the world of BDSM that you can become aware of. For example, "safe words". Safe words/signals are predetermined words or gestures that can halt activities if they become too intense or uncomfortable. Green, for example, could mean you're having a great time. Orange could mean to slow things down, and red could mean to stop. Then, you can learn about how to talk about and negotiate a scene (what you will and won't do, triggers, aftercare needs), and how to give and take away consent.

Step four: start off lightly 

Once you understand the theory, you could start with some light BDSM with a partner you fully trust. Perhaps start with blindfolds and sensation play, such as using feathers, ice, fingertips, light scratching, holding wrists during vanilla sex, giving or receiving simple orders, giving or receiving light spanks, and/or giving verbal dominance/submission such as "good boy/girl", or asking "please sir/ma'am".

Step five: aftercare

Aftercare is non-negotiable, and involves partners providing one another with physical, emotional, and psychological comfort after a BDSM scene. No matter how light the play was, you could enjoy cuddling, hydration, snacks, talking about the experience and what felt good/what to change. This is also an important part of BDSM, as it can prevent sub-drop or dom-drop.

Things to avoid in BDSM

If you're new, avoid trying to copy things such as what you've seen or read in 50 Shades of Grey. For example, there's no rush to write and sign contracts, or for one partner to assume a role (submissive or dominant) quickly. Some of the activities too, need time to enjoy, and a lot of trust, experience, and communication is needed beforehand. Lastly, be cautious with people who refuse to negotiate, who won't use safewords, wants to skip aftercare, pushes alcohol or drug use before and during play, and/or claims to be an expert but won't implement safety measures.

Is bondage and BDSM safe?

Almost the entire BDSM community will agree that BDSM is never completely "safe" in the absolute sense. But, when practiced responsibly, with knowledge, preparation, and strong communication, it can be very low-risk for most people, and serious injuries or complications are not common. 

Safe, Sane, and Consensual (SSC), which we've discussed above, is important. So is RACK (Risk-Aware Consensual Kink) and PRICK (Personal Responsibility, Informed, Consensual Kink). These are the three philosophies for ethical and safe exploration in BDSM.

RACK: Risk-Aware Consensual Kink. This accepts that all kink carries some degree of risk, whether it is physical, emotional, or psychological, but that everyone involved must be made aware of said possible risks beforehand and must give their informed and enthusiastic consent. 

PRICK: Personal Responsibility, Informed, Consensual Kink. This is more focused on each individual to do their own research, to take personal accountability for themselves, to educate themselves, and to communicate clearly at all times.

Here are some tips on how to make bondage and BDSM safer:

• Prioritise enthusiasm and informed consent

• Use clear safewords/signals

• Negotiate every scene thoroughly 

• Never leave someone alone in bondage

• Avoid drugs or alcohol during play

• Check circulation and sensation frequently

• Avoid pressure on high-risk areas

• Use quick-release tools

• Choose safe materials and techniques

• Start slow and low risk

• Plan for fails and support

• Provide aftercare

• Continue to educate yourself

• Trust your gut

What kind of fetish or bondage toys are best for beginners?

Start with toys that are simple, adjustable, easy to remove quickly, body safe, and low risk. We recommend items that focus on sensation, light restraint, or power exchange. For example:

• blindfolds: removes sight and heightens other senses, builds anticipation, feels submissive without physical risk

• Soft cuffs: velcro-fastened wrist or ankle cuffs or fabric ties/scarves

• Bondage tape: it's fun and versatile while being easy to remove

• feather ticklers: introduces light sensations, teasingly

How can I talk to my partner about trying BDSM?

Sex therapists, certified sex educators, and kink educators recommend:

• Preparing yourself first: what do you want, why do you want it, anticipate reactions, educate yourself.

• Choose the right time and place: pick a neutral, low pressure moment and keep it casual at first.

• Start the conversation: try a curious approach, then direct yet collaborative. Make it about both of you, and if the word "BDSM" feels too heavy, don't use it. You could reference a film/book you watched/read which piqued your interest.

• Listen actively and give space for a response: allow them to react and respond, ask open questions "are you curious about this or worried?" for example, share your resources, and respect boundaries.

• If they're open, negotiate and experiment: you could use a "yes/no/maybe" list to decide on things you both want to try, set basic rules such as safe words, start simple with blindfolds or light sensations, and talk about the experience afterwards.

How do I care and clean for my fetish gear?

Cleaning and taking care of your fetish gear will depend on the type of gear you have as there are many types of toys, materials, functions, some are waterproof and some aren't, some use motors, some don't. The most important thing to do is find the exact cleaning and caring instructions for said-gear, and follow them carefully to maintain its health and integrity. 

Is fetish & BDSM gear only for couples or can it be used for solo play?

BDSM gear is highly versatile for both couples and solo exploration. In fact, many people explore kinks, sensations, restraints, and fetish elements on their own as a way to discover what they like, and to enjoy pleasure. Things that can be used solo? Blindfolds, nipple clamps, collars, vibrators, plugs, dildos, feather ticklers, candle wax, and ice.

Are fetish & BDSM toys only for certain genders or orientations?

There is no limit in terms of gender or sexual orientation when it comes to fetish and BDSM toys. They are for anyone who finds them exciting, regardless of gender identity, biological sex, or sexual orientation. BDSM gear and play is gender neutral and not exclusive to one group.