Oh the wonderful world of bondage! What a fantastic and titillating lifestyle, and a really kinky way to spice up your sex life!

You see, at JOUJOU, we don’t discriminate! Whether you’re part of the BDSM community or you’re simply looking to branch out with bondage positions to add a bit of spice to your relationship, we’re all for it! 

Today however, we’ll be focusing more on the latter… that is, newbies to the beauty of bondage. 

We’ll talk a little about different bondage positions, various bondage toys and props like bondage ties, spreader bars and more, different bondage techniques such as Japanese bondage and rope bondage, as well as bondage safety. Exciting!

8 Bondage Positions For When You Want To Kink Up Your Sex Life

Oh hey you, so you continued to read on… you must be just as excited as we are to jump into bondage that’ll kink up your sex life. Yay! 

First, we’ll begin with a small intro into bondage… 

What is bondage & what are bondage positions?

Well, for starters, bondage, in BDSM, is the activity of tying or restraining people using equipment such as chains, cuffs, collars, rope, spreader bars, and bondage ties for mutual erotic pleasure. 

And according to the Kinsey Institute, 12 percent of females and 22 percent of males respond erotically to the elements of BDSM, including bondage.

More interestingly, a survey by the condom manufacturer, Durex, found that 20 percent of people worldwide use bondage tool such as blindfolds and masks during sex. 

Those are some pretty great odds, as we’re moving into a space where explorative play is becoming more mainstream. Is it time for you to jump on the bondage train?

Before you answer, you may be wondering “What are bondage positions?” Well, essentially, it’s any bondage where one partner is bound using a prop. 

There are a number of simple bondage positions great for beginners, such as having one’s hands handcuffed or tied behind their back, having one’s arms or legs spread apart using a spreader bar, or using bondage ties to have one’s wrists or ankles secured to a sturdy surface. 

More intricate bondage positions would include the Japanese bondage tenchnique, Shibari, for example, which involves a method of restraint using rope or rope-like material. It also involves the entire body of the one being restrained, so it’s definitely not for the faint-hearted. 

No need to worry however, we’re not going to go into difficult bondage techniques or positions today. We’re here for those who are beginners to bondage and want to know what it’s all about. 

Who knows, it may prompt you to want to have some bondage fun with your partner… 

Is bondage right for you and your partner?

As we’re already on the topic of getting your bondage on with a partner, do you think it’s something you’d like to enjoy together? 

Do you think bondage would be a right fit for you and your partner? Or are you a bit apprehensive about how to approach the topic or execute this kind of fun during play time? 

While we don’t know what the relationship is like between you and your partner, we can tell you that there are actually many benefits to enjoying bondage with a partner. Allow us to elaborate…

What are the Benefits of BDSM in a Relationship?

Reduced stress levels: it may seem strange to hear, but when you engage in BDSM practices, it triggers a biological effect similar to that of feeling zen. Bondage, for example, can reduce the amount of cortisol (the stress hormone) that is released from the body, thus creating a calmer and less stressed individual. Cherry on top? When we are less stressed, we tend to experience better physical health too.

Better communication between partners: With acts such as bondage, complete trust and honesty is an absolute necessity. In this way, when partners engage in BDSM acts and are part of the lifestyle, you can be sure that they’ve mastered the art of communicating their needs, feelings, likes, and dislikes with their partner at length. This could then lead to better communication in other aspects of one’s relationship too.

Better mental health: In a study, it was found that those who engaged in BDSM practices were actually more well-adjusted on certain personality measurements compared to non-BDSM practitioners. For example, BDSM enthusiasts were more conscientious towards others, more open to trying new things, and had decreased levels of anxiety.  

While all of these benefits are all good and well, it also depends on each individual partner. 

If both partners are on the same page, and are welcoming when it comes to adding bondage into their play time routine, they may very well be able to take advantage of these benefits. 

But if one or both partners aren’t on-board, then these benefits are, of course, null and void.

If you’re someone who would like to try bondage to kink up your sex life, we suggest the following steps when talking to your partner:

Do your homework: After this article, you may have a better understanding of what bondage is and different bondage positions. You could continue to research more on a particular style of bondage that tickles your fancy, look at a few bondage sex toys, or simply see images or videos of them. In this way, you’re more informed when it comes to talking to your partner about what you’d like to try.

Approach the topic with empathy and an open-mind: Your partner may not be as well-informed or as open-minded as you are, and it’s important to be empathetic and understanding of where they’re at. Your partner may be confused, hurt, angry, intrigued, or possibly even turned on. Whatever the reaction, keep an open-mind and appreciate your partner’s views.

Desires & boundaries: If you’ve had your chat, and both of you seem quite excited or even aroused at the thought of trying bondage, there should be a follow-up conversation before any action takes place. This would entail discussing both of your desires and boundaries. This could be disclosing that you are intrigued by the thought of handcuffs, for example. Maybe your partner has been thinking about rope bondage for some time, and so they will have the opportunity to tell you more about that. Adversely, there are limits and boundaries, so talking about what doesn’t turn you on, or what you’d rather not/ will not try is just as important.

And while we’re on the topic of desires and boundaries, whichever way you choose to play, there are several safety bondage experimentation tips to consider… 

Safe bondage experimentation tips

When two people engage in acts of bondage, or any act under the umbrella term “BDSM” it should never be taken lightly. 

Bondage is not something you decide to explore with a one night stand, or someone that you don’t fully trust. It’s a very intimate act that requires real honesty, communication, trust, and empathy. 

With that, here are some safety tips to consider during bondage play:

Start Simple

It’s not about diving into the deep end, using expensive and elaborate bondage toys and props, or getting yourself or your partner into very difficult bondage positions. This kind of practice takes time, trust, and patience. Start off with something simple, such as using a tie or blindfold to cover one partner’s eyes, or to tie their wrists. See how you both enjoy the sensation of being a dominant partner and/or a submissive partner. 

Communicate & Engage in Aftercare Afterwards

After your first experience with bondage, take the time to talk to each other about it. What did you like? What didn’t you like? Are you both interested in trying something else, or maybe one or both of you feel as though bondage play isn’t for you. All of this is okay. It’s also important to engage in aftercare after a bondage scene. Whether it was short lived, easy, simple, or the opposite, aftercare involves checking in on each other’s emotional wellbeing and taking care of each other. This could be having cuddles, bringing one a glass of water, or just relaxing together to recuperate. 

Unwavering Trust

As we mentioned, we advise trying or continuing to experiment with bondage with someone you really trust. This kind of play can be very intense, and both partners need to be able to trust and respect one another. Can you imagine anything worse than being so vulnerable with someone who doesn’t care about your wellbeing?

SSC = Safe, Sane, Consensual 

A term that is important when engaging in bondage or any other BDSM activity is SSC. This stands for safe, sane, and consensual. All acts of bondage should happen in a safe environment when both partners are sober, all participants should be of sufficient sound and mind, and are able to and do give consent.

Safewords

In the world of BDSM, there is something called a ‘safeword’. This can be a verbal or a physical cue, but will indicate to the dominant partner that the submissive is feeling good, uneasy, or absolutely uncomfortable. For example, using green, orange, and red. Or, it could be a gesture, such as grabbing a certain object to let a partner know when one wants to stop. Both partners need to respect these safewords for the best, safest, and most authentic experience.

Be Prepared

Whichever way you’re experiencing your bondage play, make sure you have all the tools necessary on-hand to get a partner out of the bondage material. Things such as scissors to cut off any restraints is an example. Also be aware of how the bound partner is feeling and appears. They should never get to the point of feeling tingling, numbness, or coldness. 

And now that we’ve run through the bits and pieces of bondage, as well as safety tips for all kinds of kinky play, here are the 8 best bondage positions to kink up your sex life!

8 best bondage positions to kink up your sex life

Intrigued to try bondage with your partner? Browsing or with intent to practice, we’ve compiled the best 8 bondage positions to kink up your sex life!

1. Chair Bondage

For an effortless bout of fun, Chair bondage is as easy as one, two, three. All that is required is your chosen bondage material, and a straight chair leg model with armrests! You could choose silk ties, handcuffs, rope, bondage tape, or whatever else you fancy. And to practice it, have the submissive partner sit down on the chair, tie their arms on top of the armrest, then tie their ankles to the chair legs. Enjoying bondage using a chair can also be a lot of fun as it gives you the chance to give your bound partner a lap dance or two!

2. Wall Bound

Another rather easy bondage position to experience, Wall Bound! Simply find a bare wall or any durable flat surface and grab a roll of bondage tape. Voila! You can tape the submissive partner to the surface, and go to town on their body. We love this bondage position because it’s one of the easiest, safest, and most comfortable. 

3. The Crab Tie

The Crab Tie is a great bondage position for those who really want to take on a dominant role, especially during oral sex. So if you’re someone who loves to give or receive oral, then the Crab Tie is definitely a goodie! You can practice it by having the submissive partner sit on a bed with their knees raised to their chest. Then, using a restraint such as a silk scarf, handcuffs, or bondage tape, the dominant will tie the submissive’s forearms to their calves and assist them into the seated crab tie position. Once in place, the dominant will roll the submissive onto their back, and spread their legs as far as possible. This leaves all the space the dominant craves to give their submissive oral sex.

4. The Spread Eagle

The Spread Eagle is a simple yet super sexy bondage position for beginners. All it involves is having the submissive partner on their back, then lying horizontally on a bed (like the shape of an ‘X’). If you have bed posts, the dominant can use that to tie their submissive partner’s wrists and ankles to. If you don’t have bedposts, you could opt for a spreader bar, which will give you the same delicious result. What’s fun about this bondage position is that it gives the dominant partner full access to the submissive partner’s body for all kinds of oral sex and foreplay adventures. 

5. Wide Open

Similar to that of The Spread Eagle, the Wide Open bondage position is a tad bit more elaborate. It entails tying one’s partner’s wrists and ankles together, then having the submissive raise their arms above their head. Each ankle will be kept apart from each other using a spreader bar or rope, which will give the dominant partner 100 percent access to their submissive’s body for a bit of oral sex, teasing, and pleasure. 

6. The Ragdoll

The Ragdoll bondage position is sometimes better known as the Spooning bondage position, and is exactly as it sounds. It’s easy and fun for beginners, so we highly recommend this bondage position for newbies. To practice it means having the little spoon’s arms bound in front of them while the big spoon can rock their hips as they please. If you fancy, you could add in a blindfold, creating even more of a heightened experience.

7. The Boxtie 

The Boxtie is a great bondage position for beginners because it encompasses the thrill of bondage, but doesn’t have any strong risk of being unsafe or uncomfortable. In fact, the submissive partner could remain in this position for longer than other bondage positions, as it won’t cause any nerve issues or restriction of blood flow. The basic Boxtie bondage position entails the submissive partner crossing their arms behind their back to which the dominant will use wraps of rope or other bondage material to keep the submissive’s arms close to the body. 

8. The Damsel

Just like the damsel in distress, which is how this bondage position got its name, the bound partner will appear as seen in many movies. To practice The Damsel, using four sets of rope is the best option. The dominant partner will tie the submissive partner’s elbows together behind their back. After that, another set of rope is needed to tie their wrists together. Then, the third and fourth set of rope will be used to tie their knees together and their ankles together. Granted, this bondage position is a bit more intimidating, as it restricts the submissive’s movement completely, so perhaps experimenting with simpler bondage positions first is a good idea.

Pining over any of these bondage positions? Remember: it’s all about being sane, safe, and consensual whilst enjoying the thrill of a lifetime!