Be honest, you’ve probably had a sexual experience that was… below par. Sometimes two people just don’t gel well together, or perhaps there are other things that have gotten in the way of you having exceptional sex.
Fear not, as there are a ton of different ways that you can enhance your playtime and transform it into something that’s exactly what you deserve… mind-blowing! Let’s dive in!
If you don’t know what you like, the chances of your partner knowing are very slim. For that reason, masturbation is the perfect way in which to relax, get some sexy me-time, and to figure out what you like and what you don’t like. Whether it’s clitoral stimulation, hitting that g-spot or prostate, enjoy the time exploring your body. In this way, you can communicate your newly-discovered sweet spots to your partner, and experience more bliss in the bedroom.
2. No Quick Fix
By that, we don’t mean that it’ll take eternity to start experiencing great sex. We mean that you should ditch the quickies and focus on sex dates of a longer duration. Foreplay is an excellent way to get the juices flowing and to focus on other things that can heighten your level of arousal. It will also create a platform for suspense, making the sex even more craved when it does happen.
3. Say No
You live, you learn. And if you’re taking the time to learn about your body, you’ll soon know what you don’t like. If your partner pressures you or is dead set on doing something you’re not comfortable with, you have the right to say no. Sex should be mutually beneficial and consensual, and if one partner is not happy, then it’s simply not worth the effort.
4. Try New Things
As mentioned, saying no when you do not want to do something is your right. And that right should always be respected. But once in a while, dare to live on the wild side and try something new. This could be anything from changing positions, getting it on in a different place, or trying a new sex toy. If you’re curious, let it flow. You may just find your new muse.
5. Demand the Best
We all associate good sex with an amazing orgasm. And if you’re not getting off, then that’s no fun! So if you’re with a partner who has already reached climax, prioritize yourself too and let them know that you haven’t. Your partner should love every inch of your body, and be happy to please you until you reach your big ‘O’.
6. For Women: Do Kegel Exercises
You may think that kegel exercises don’t have a direct impact on your sex life, but they really do. A kegel exercise is when you tighten your pelvic muscles. These are quite easy to do, and the best way to describe how to do them is to tighten your pelvic muscles as if you were going to stop yourself mid-pee stream. Do these five times a day and hold them for two to three seconds. This, in turn, will create an easier flow of blood to the vagina, and it’ll increase your ability to orgasm.
7. Prioritize Your Emotional Bond
If you’re in a committed relationship, emotional bonding creates a safe space for many. It allows you to really trust and respect your partner, and it gives you a feeling of acceptance and freedom. To bond emotionally will transcend into how comfortable you feel in the bedroom, and perhaps give way to you feeling more confident and satisfied.
8. Educate Yourself
If you’ve tried various different techniques, including the ones above, and or perhaps you have some sexual anxiety or trauma, it may be a good idea to educate yourself more on the topics that are giving you the anxiety. It may also be advisable to seek a sex therapist, or even a couples counsellor if you feel that it’s the emotional disconnection that’s causing unhappiness in your sex life.
However you plan to improve your sex life, there’s are a number of different techniques, tips, and resources to help you. Finding the root cause is the most important thing, and taking action is the second. Go forth and enjoy sex, because we all deserve it.
Helena Lorimer, Sexual Health and Wellness Expert at JOUJOU