You’re having a casual conversation with a dude, or catching up on your social media when BAM! An unsolicited dick pic has made its way onto your screen. Did you ask for it? No! It’s ‘unsolicited’, duh!
Did you give any kind of inkling that may lead him to believe that you want to see what he’s got under his boxer shorts? Negative. So what the actual heck is going on? And what possible reason could he have to send you something so intimate without your consent?
On a different note, isn’t it a bit strange that men still don’t know that most women aren’t big fans of seeing a wang up close and personal? Or wait, is that the reason why they’re sending them in the first place? Let’s find out…
Show Me What You’re Working With
Men often like to see themselves as strong, powerful, and authoritative. And when it comes to their masculinity, it’s usually the size of their man-part that influences how they see themselves in society. After all, there’s an age-old debate of whether size matters, with many agreeing that it does.
A man doesn’t want to appear inadequate, obviously, so in an attempt to get the anxieties about his size, shape, appearance etc. out of the way, he decides to send a picture of himself to the girl he’s hoping to bang.
In this way, she can take a look, see what she has to work with, and comment if she feels like it. It’s also a way in which to prevent any surprises or disappointments when/if the ‘deed’ comes to fruition. It’s like pre-approval which ultimately reduces the chances of rejection in-person.
Give and You Shall Receive
It’s also been speculated that, because men love to receive pictures of a sexual nature, they often assume that women feel the same way too.
It could be that they’ve misinterpreted the situation, read the room incorrectly, or simply feel like that’s the next natural step in the relationship. Either way, the golden rule is if you give you shall receive, isn’t it? (in this case, it’s not, in case that wasn’t clear.)
The Shock Factor
For some who send dick pics, it’s merely about the shock factor. That is, them pulling an extremely bold move and gaining attention, albeit negative, from the opposite sex.
Behaving in this manner can be seen as quite a thrill, like a form of exhibitionism. And even when a woman reacts with disgust, it doesn’t really take away from the thrill. Essentially, it’s a turn on no matter what the response.
Another reason why he might be sending dick pics is in hopes of receiving a favourable response from the receiver. We all like to fish for compliments, so if the receiver feels aroused or gives the man praise for his member, it’s just another way for him to feel special and important.
At the end of the day, there could be a number of other different reasons as to why a man decides to send a woman unsolicited dick pics. It’s one of those human behaviours that are complex and thus hard to pinpoint.
The bigger picture, however, is not always why they send them, but why they feel it is OK to send them. Many feminist writers have dubbed the unsolicited dick pic as a form of sexual assault and a way in which a man tries to gain dominance over a woman.
And because it is just too easy for anyone to send photos of this nature to friends or even strangers, it’s a hard issue to control. That, coupled with the fact that many women may feel too shy to confront the sender, lies the question of online safety.
And while there are some women who actively enjoy receiving dick pics, it should be up to the prospective receiver to allow or deny this kind of material. Women are allowed to be open and honest, to kick shame or shyness to the curb, and ultimately embrace their prerogative as a woman to be sexual in a safe environment.
So, to end off on a lighter note… unsolicited dick pics, ew!
Helena Lorimer, Sexual Health and Wellness Expert at JOUJOU