Just like yin and yang, life surprises us with good and bad moments. And while all of us would prefer to have undeniably hot and steamy sex, this isn’t always the case. In fact, things can get super awkward in a matter of seconds.
Prepare yourself for some cringe, and possibly a few laughs, from these awkward AF true sex stories from the fellas at Reddit.
1. Spooge & a Gym Teacher
“I was having missionary sex with my ex while in high school. We were in the gym and I was so turned on I pulled out and blasted in my own eye. I turned around because my girlfriend had this terrified look of embarrassment on her face only to stare into the angry face of her gym teacher while the spooge dripped down my eye onto my lip. Yeah that was a great day....” - csoimmpplleyx
2. Birthday Blowie, Pun Intended
“So it was my 18th birthday. It was about 12:30am at my house, and my girlfriend of the time and I were laying on the couch watching a movie. My family had gone to bed earlier, and my girlfriend turned her head and said to me, ‘I’m going to give you your birthday present now’. We start going at it on the couch, and everything's going well. We're in the spooning position, and there is a blanket covering us up from the waist down. Not too much motion at the time just some good grinding, but I was balls deep in her. The room suddenly got lighter, but a very natural non-electric light. My eyes look up to see my mother, father, and sister with a birthday cake walking into the room. Singing happy birthday. While I am balls deep in my girlfriend.” - DavidisGoliath
3. Innocent Pervert
“Late one night when I was in college, I decided to go for a run. I jogged a few miles to a park, and I was feeling pretty good, so I decided to finish by sprinting up a really big steep hill. I get to the top, now feeling like I'm about to pass out, and as I stagger around panting and gasping, I look up and I see the fleshy shadow of two people tangled up on a blanket a couple feet away, clothes off to the side, looking at me and blinking. I'm so oxygen-deprived that I'm seeing spots, so I can't help but lurch around them like a pervert, taking these enormous rasping breaths, while we stare awkwardly at each other. After ten or fifteen endless seconds I turn around and try to scurry away.” - Number127
4. Coming or Going?
“The guy I am with had had surgery to pin in place a dislocated shoulder about 3 months previously. I forgot this. When riding him, I started getting a bit rough and pinned his hands back behind his head. Turns out his 'I am in agony as my shoulder just came out of joint' face is almost identical to his 'I'm about to come' face, so it was a couple of minutes and one orgasm (for me) later before I realised he was in a shitload of pain and starting to cry. I drove him straight to the hospital, and realised while he was in triage that although I had dressed, I had neglected to clean myself up and combined lube and sexy juices had soaked through the seat of my white skirt. Bad, bad day.” - fractalfarmer
5. Sadly, N/A
“None, because I'm still a 22-year-old virgin. Now I made myself sad.” - anonymous
6. Choose Your Lube Wisely
“We were in high school at the time, and mostly just experimenting. This was senior year, and we were both 17 at the time. We were in no way dating, just fuck buddies really. We'd been pretty far with each other at the time, and decided that we wanted to try anal. I volunteered to be the receiver (just my thing), and once we had a night alone, we tried it. Only, we were both seventeen year old males with absolutely no experience in this. Neither of us thought of lube until it was too late. Neither of us had any experience with another guy or anal. Eventually we decided to use vegetable oil as a lubricant. Holeee-shit was that a bad idea. First of all, it hurt like a motherfucker, and no amount of prep work could change that. Second of all, that shit does not go away. It stays in that part of your body, remaining extremely uncomfortable for days.” - RogueReviews
Do you have any awkward or embarrassing sex stories to top these? We’d love to hear them…
Helena Lorimer, Sexual Health and Wellness Expert at JOUJOU