Takeaway: Do you travel often for work? Take frequent trips for pleasure? Perhaps you live on the road or have a long distance relationship. Let’s talk about sex and travel! Read more for tips on finding or maintaining romance and sex, how to pack discreet toys (or pack indiscreet toys discreetly)!
We travel more than we ever have before and society is becoming more open-minded about sex as well. As a result, we need to talk about how to find or maintain sexual relationships while on the road. Be it vacation or work between flights, sex and travel is more possible and fulfilling than it ever has been before! This blogger is a sexually active expat who travels within her country and region every week and around the world at least quarterly, with two to four trips to her native country every year, too. Here are tips from an expert on how to meet partners (potential long-term or hook-ups), how to keep romance alive around the world, what to buy and pack discreetly, and how to handle complications:
- Online dating: Once taboo and unfamiliar, now all of us have at least browsed sites like OKCupid, Tinder, and Bumble, among others. Create profiles and make them as public or anonymous as necessary. Check out matches where you are and where you're planning to be. But stay safe - make no meeting commitments until you feel comfortable and don't hesitate to back out if you get bad vibes. Don't give identifying contact information until you're ready, and don't tell the other person where you're staying unless you're comfortable bringing your match there. Meet in a public place and make sure a friend you trust knows exactly where you'll be and when. Check in as frequently as possible and if you have any doubts, establish a code word and check-in times. Using GPS, you can send your exact location.
- One more safety tip, necessary to complete the above steps: make sure you have wifi and enough minutes and to make calls and check in online, even internationally if you are abroad. This is generally not a problem if you're traveling in your own country, but for international travel especially for newbies, this may seem daunting. Cheap cell phones abroad are actually easy to come by if you know where to look and what you need, and you may often be able to keep your own phone and switch out the SIM card. Look for cell phone stores or stands where you are. Airports usually have them set up before and after customs, but they can be a bit more expensive there. Prices get lower the further you get from the airport but you'll want to do this before you leave the metro area if you're traveling to less-touristy areas. You'll usually need to pre-purchase airtime, which is often included with new purchases and the amount can last a while and easily be refilled if you're aware of how much you're consuming. Make sure before leaving for any dates or hook-ups that your phone is fully charged and has plenty of minutes and data. If unsure of how to set it up, vendors can help in their native languages and hotel or hostel attendants can help often in English as well. This is for people who don't have international data and minutes on the phones they already have, which I would advise against using because it can get quite expensive. Do look into it before you leave your home base though, as it may be easier and all cell companies vary on their offerings.
Now for the fun stuff! If the above doesn't apply because you're traveling somewhere you're familiar, or because you're in a committed relationship, there are toys with apps to play long distance! You can set up video chats using Skype, Zoom, Facebook Messenger, Line, and other apps. Set up sexy video play dates, and bring toys! Men will love the Remoji Blowhole and women rave about the We-Vibe Classic Couples Vibrator. We’ve talked about this product before but can't mention it enough for busy or long-distance sex partners. One of my new favourites is the Je Joue NOE Dual Motors vibrating butt plug, which either partner will love. Go crazy and buy four products! With The Blowhole, We-Vibe, and a butt plug for each partner, you can surprise one another from around the world at any time. Each person can give one partner or multiples access via the app, and discontinue it when or if the relationship ends, making it perfect for long-term love or quick flings.
Make sure you have plenty of condoms to stay safe with strangers or new partners. Lelo Hex condoms are my favourite, and a customer favourite too! A 12-pack costs less than $2 per use and can't be beat for pleasure and safety - the internal structure provides more pleasure for the wearer and prevents tearing at the same time, while the thinness and flex points pleasure both partners as well. Also stock up on lube. We like Melt Warming Oil from Intimate Organics, and at two ounces you can put it in your carry-on with no problems from TSA and other security checkpoints. Electrastim lubricant is also available in three gram packets of 10 if you're worried you already have too many liquids to pack or want one to fit in a small purse or pocket. While condoms may be just for those seeking on-site sex, lube is good for video play with toys, too! Make sure you pack some! But always place those liquids in a Ziplock bag. This prevents spills but also adheres to TSA guidelines, ensuring no rifling through your bags and potential embarrassment.
- If traveling to foreign countries (or the state of Alabama in the US) double-check guidelines. Some don't allow sex toys, but most of the time you're safe, especially if it's disguised. Remove batteries because vibrators with batteries can look like a loaded gun in x-ray machines, and if the toy is rechargeable and has a travel lock (as most Lelo and JimmyJane products do), engage it. Dildos and other toys less than 7 inches in length will likely pass unnoticed through security, but if it has metal parts, leave it at home - unless you don't mind it being detected. It's still permissible but it may get checked out. Leave most BDSM toys in the sex toy closet at home, but blindfolds, fabric restraints, and usually even whips or leather accessories will get a pass.
Pack some discreet toys! The truth is, TSA sees hundreds of these toys every day and won’t give them a second thought - take this wisdom from a world-traveling sex educator who has packed dozens of non-discreet sex toys into her carry-on multiple times - but we’ve all heard the stories, some of us are more reserved than others, and most will blush at least a few shades of red if security searches our bags and pulls out vibrators in front of scores of strangers. Check out the Inspire Vibrating Intimate Teaser, disguised as a compact with a second piece that looks like a silicone makeup sponge. The compact has a built-in mirror if you're into visuals, and the vibrating “sponge” fits perfectly into panties. The Tor 2 cock ring looks like a normal masculine piece of costume jewellery, and the plain looking Tantus super soft ring can be worn on the cock or loosely on a woman’s finger, and features a small removable vibrator. The Mini Max vibrating lipstick looks like any other piece of makeup and won't merit a second look from prying eyes, but with multiple speeds it's a super-exciting addition to your makeup bag regardless of whether it's the right shade!
- If you're worried about packing sex toys still, some words of advice: if security questions it, tell the truth! If you've followed the above rules, they likely won't ask but there are exceptions and documented cases of mishandling. Know the rules and quietly request a supervisor to a second agent if you feel the situation escalating. Respectfully stand your ground and insist that the toys are within guidelines. You'll probably get through the checkpoint with no more hassles. If bad goes to worse, you can submit a formal complaint via the security organisation or the airline.
Enjoy your trip and have a sexy time! Remember if you don't want to pack tous, you'll be able to find sex toy shops where you go and can likely find a few online that will be close to your itinerary locations before you even leave home. Send us a postcard with all the spicy details! Have more advice after firsthand experience? Please comment below for nervous travelers!
Article by Sara at JOUJOU