Sexually compatibility between partners is tricky; we don’t usually know these details in a relationship until we already feel an emotional connection. When the sexual interests match, there’s a shift into an even more passionate relationship, but if they don’t, things can fizzle with someone you care about pretty fast.
One of the most frequent issues is one person being fairly experienced in sex or with a higher libido, while the other person has less confidence or a lower libido. At first thought it doesn't seem like an issue, but as the time goes on one partner feels stress that their needs aren't met, and the other worries that they aren't sufficient. With clear communication and a little effort, both partners can be fulfilled!
First, you need to examine why there is no common ground. Is it one doesn't have the confidence, libido, or maybe just a lack of interest or spark? If you simply need to spice things up again, reconnecting with your partner may be the first step. Not everything is about sex; intimacy comes from contact and understanding.
The Donna Be Romanced Set is the perfect way to get things rolling, it doesn't include sex toys but instead pushes couples to become intimate again through touching. Included is a plastic massager, massage oil, bubble bath gel, rose petals, flavoured body topping, and tea lights, all with a few pheromones added. Take a night off with your partner, and let them know you want to try something beforehand - you don't want them to doze off too early because they thought it was a night to do nothing!
Another issue is one partner having a lower drive than the other. They may like sex and be attracted to their partner, and in this situation, there are two things you want to do. Discuss with your partner what you expect or can handle from sex, and listen to what they say about their limitations. You aren't going to be able to just change their libido, but you can find the best way to get the most of sex when it does happen.
Something basic and guaranteed to be loved is a Couples Massager, like the WeVibe Sync. This massager is worn in the vagina, designed to stimulate the clitoris and g-spot but able to pleasure the man as well. It will immediately heighten the experience for both partners.
What about partners that are both comfortable in sex with similar libidos, but totally different fetishes? Worse when one of their fetishes is actually a total turn off for the other. If you're both fine with the others fetishes, then try taking turns indulging in the others interests. The role may not feel natural, but as long as everyone is comfortable and both partners are able to take their turn, you should be fine.
On the other hand, if their fetishes are a complete turn off but they constantly want to engage in that specific fetish, it may be best to move on. You both can also try finding a common ground with unexplored territory. You may be into temperature play but he's into BDSM, so maybe something like shock play may be right up your alley. The Deluxe Shock Therapy Travel Kit comes in a discreet case, and contains five shock pads, and an easy to use device to control and see the intensity of shocks.
Another issue that many experience isn't necessarily an issue of common ground, but time. Yes, the “he finishes too fast” issue is going to be talked about here, because it can leave both partners feeling unsatisfied with the situation. Condoms and numbing lubes are one way to go, but if you want to make things more pleasurable too a ring is really the way to go. The Fantasy C-Ringz Remote Control Rabbit Ring is a ring worn around the penis, for fuller and longer lasting erections. It'll hold off the man finishing but make the orgasm oh so much better when they happen. This ring vibrates and is controlled by a remote, putting your partner in control while physically pleasuring them as well.
Facing issues with mismatched libido or interests is a common problem. It is true that they will be a tough issue and should be thoroughly looked at, but that doesn't mean it's the end of a relationship either. If anything, they can help you learn, grow, and find even more interesting ways to be intimate with your partner.
Article by Sara at JOUJOU
Awesome!!
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