Some women are lucky enough to be born with the ability to have excellent sexual self-confidence. Perhaps they go through life enjoying a healthy sex life, and are never ashamed to go for what they want with a kind of stamina that appears impossible to break. But this is not the case for everyone.
There are millions of women all over the world that live with unnerving shame and anxiety about their body and/or their sexuality. Oftentimes, the two are linked.
And while this is definitely something that can affect one’s life in an extremely negative way, there are actually a few steps that can be taken to help break those pesky sexual barriers and live a more sexually empowered life.
Here are six tips from sex therapist, Lisa Thomas, that’ll help you achieve sexual bliss and sex confidence.
1. Make the Choice
The first step to upping your sexual self-confidence game is to realise that you are in control of your life… in all aspects. That includes the way in which you participate in and enjoy sex.
With that, it’s up to you to make the decision that you really want to come out of your sexual shell. If you’re hoping to be more confident in the bedroom for someone else or feel pressured by others to do so, then the next few tips won’t be nearly as effective, or possibly ineffective altogether.
2. Get to Know Your Body
There are many different ways in which you can get to know and feel more in-tune with your body.
One technique is to use a mirror and really look at your vagina. A hand mirror is great for this, and by using it you can really know your body’s most intimate parts. Identify your clitoris and see how it feels when you stimulate it. This is one of the most pleasurable spots on a woman.
3. Enjoy the Art of Self-Pleasure
This is when you are able to masturbate and get to know what you like and what you don’t like.
This can be a difficult step for some who were brought up to believe that sex and sexuality is a sin or bad (before marriage). But, as you are now an adult woman, it’s the perfect time to give yourself permission to feel good, as this is a key step in gaining sexual confidence.
4. Embrace Erotica
Of course, pornography isn’t for everyone and some may even find it vile or repulsive. But there are different kinds of material that’s geared specifically towards women and is a sensual and sexual experience that’ll surely cause a positive reaction. In actuality, porn and erotica for women is often referred to as “sex-positive porn”.
You could consider websites such as Make Love Not Porn, an initiative made by women for women that depicts real sex that’s not derogative but rather sensual and romantic.
5. Invest in Sensual Clothing or Lingerie
To embrace sexuality, feeling sexy is a huge factor. And when you dress up in an outfit that makes you feel beautiful, sensual, and great can increase your sexual self-confidence tenfold.
This doesn’t necessarily have to be see-through lingerie pieces or highly sexualised role-playing outfits (but it can be if you want). You could opt for acute or revealing dress, or a pair of shoes you’ve had your eye on.
6. Romance in Sex
The element of romance in sex is highly sought-after for many women. For that reason, talking with your partner about your emotional and sexual needs is important.
Try to incorporate things that make you feel loved, treasured, and special. It could be engaging in a sensual massage, or cuddling after sex.
So, for those who are struggling with sexual self-confidence, these six tips are small yet effective ways that you can actively start practicing to work towards coming out of your shell.
And if they appear too threatening for you, you could consider seeing a sex therapist or counselor to talk through possible reasons for your lack of sexual self-confidence. Sometimes, it could be because of negative past experiences, or another underlying reason.
How ever you choose to embrace sexuality, your pleasure, level of being comfortable, and self-love is the most important thing.
Helena Lorimer at JOUJOU