Running Hot and Cold: The Ins and Outs of Temperature Play

Running Hot and Cold: The Ins and Outs of Temperature Play

Whether you like your days hot or cold is irrelevant when turning up (or down) the heat in the bedroom (aka temperature play). This form of playtime is something fairly common within the BDSM community but is actually something that all kinds of couples can enjoy. 

This is because it’s not too invasive, and can be done at a slow pace to gauge whether you like it or not. If you identify as kind of vanilla but are interested in bringing some kink into your playtime, temperature play may just be the perfect way in which to do so.

What is Temperature Play?

Temperature play is when things that are either hot or cold are used to increase sexual stimulation

By doing this, neuroreceptors under the skin create a sensual reaction, adding bouts of pleasure to any sexy time adventure. 

What Do People Use During Temperature Play?

There are a ton of different things you can use to introduce temperature play into your playtime. It all depends on which kind of temperature play you’re after.

Like it Hot? Candle/Wax Play!

Imagine a slew of intense but pleasurable sensations tingling your body. That is essentially what you can look forward to when it comes to candle/wax play

But before you run rampant, remember that safety is of the utmost importance. This is something that warrants special precautions so that it can and will be only a pleasant experience. 

One way to ensure safety is to have a fire extinguisher on-hand. Another would be to remove any flammable items from your immediate area (tissues, scarves etc.).

The next thing to note is that not all candles are suitable for candle/wax playIn fact, there’s just one that you should be considering for playtime, namely safety candles. 

These candles are simple and dull and don’t have any added colouring, chemicals, or scents to them, making them the safest option. 

This type of candle/wax also cools down relatively quickly, making them not too hot when it lands on someone’s skin.

Then, when it comes to getting down… here are some tips to take note of:

  • Try not to go for an area that has a lot of hair, as it may rip out when the wax is removed.
  • Keep the candle around one foot away from the skin to reduce splashing
  • Dip the wax at a parallel angle to your partner, not too far back or too far down.
  • The breasts and nipples are a fun place to start.
  • Using an old sheet during wax play will make the cleanup easier.

The Best Massage Candles for Hot Temperature Play: 

Shop JOUJOU: KAMA SUTRA Massage Candle

KAMA SUTRA Massage Candle

Shop JOUJOU: LELO Massage Candle

LELO Massage Candle

Shop JOUJOU: BIJOUX INDISCRETS Melt My Heart Massage Candle

BIJOUX INDISCRETS Melt My Heart Massage Candle 


Like it Hot? Warming Lubricant & Gels Play!

Want to take your self-pleasure and foreplay game to the next level? Discover the many benefits warming lubricants and arousal gels can offer! These little helpers bring the heat to your sexy time, providing a deliciously tingly sensation that gets the blood flowing and makes you feel oh-so-sensitive. Want to spice things up even more? Arousal gels are like the secret weapon of the sexual world, with ingredients like L-ginseng and sometimes even cinnamon that work to rev up your engine and ignite your desires. Whether you're flying solo or with a partner, these slippery little devils will have you feeling all kinds of new sensations and pleasure.

The Best Warming Lubricants & Arousal Gels for Hot Temperature Play: 

Shop JOUJOU: SENSUVA ON Power Glide for Men

SENSUVA ON Power Glide for Men



Shop JOUJOU: Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex Clitoral Balm

BIJOUX INDISCRETS Slow Sex Clitoral Balm


Like it Cold? Ice Play!

It’s common knowledge that when an ice cube touches our skin, it causes an intense sensation. And when it’s done during a sensual and sexual tryst it can intensify the entire experience. 

If you’re all about ice cubes, you can go ahead and use those by holding one in your fingers and slowly tracing it all over your partner’s body. While you’re doing this, you can blow softly on the skin to cause an even bigger tingle.

If you fancy something other than ice however, you can opt for frozen fruits such as strawberries or cucumber. In this way, you could hold the pieces of fruit in your mouth whilst moving it along the skin.

Then, when it comes to getting down… here are some tips to take note of:

  • Try not to use ice straight out of the freezer. By allowing it to thaw slightly, the ice will be able to slip and slide along the body better, and it will create a ‘fun’ shock as opposed to a damaging or uncomfortable cold. 
  • Avoid inserting ice into the body. When ice is in the body for more than five minutes, you could run the risk of damaging internal tissue.
  • If pain is felt, stop. Ice play does create a strange and uncomfortable sensation at first, but if it persists then you’re not doing it right. Pins and needles, burning, and stinging sensations are a sign of frostbite and is not what you should be aiming for.

Like it Cold? Cooling Lubricant & Gels Play!

Cooling lubricants and arousal gels are another fantastic option for anyone looking to enhance their self-pleasure or foreplay game. These types of lubricants and gels are specially designed to provide a cooling, tingling sensation that can create a unique and pleasurable experience. Ingredients like peppermint oil or menthol constricting blood vessels lead to increased sensitivity and stimulation of the intimate area and a more intense orgasm. Cooling arousal gels, in particular, can be especially helpful for people who may struggle with achieving arousal or have a decreased sex drive. 

The Best Cooling Lubricants & Arousal Gels for Cold Temperature Play: 

Shop JOUJOU: INTIMATE EARTH Discover G-Spot Stimulation Gel

INTIMATE EARTH Discover G-Spot Stimulation Gel

Shop JOUJOU: INTIMATE EARTH Gentle Clitoral Stimulation Gel INTIMATE EARTH Gentle Clitoral Stimulation Gel Shop JOUJOU: Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex Oral Sex Balm BIJOUX INDISCRETS Slow Sex Oral Sex Balm


How to Pair Sex Toys With Temperature Play?

There are numerous benefits to incorporating sex toys into your temperature play sessions.  They can enhance the intensity of your orgasms by adding an unexpected and exciting sensation. The sensation of heat or cold on sensitive areas can create a rush of arousal that can be both exhilarating and satisfying.

Some of the best materials for temperature play are stainless steel and glass, as they are able to retain heat or cold. To warm up your toys, you can try running them under hot water for a few minutes, using a hair dryer on a low heat setting, or placing them in a bowl of warm water. To cool them down, you can place them in the fridge or freezer for a few minutes, or run them under cold water. Just be sure to check the temperature before using them on sensitive areas, and communicate with your partner to ensure that the sensation is pleasurable for both of you.

The Best Sex Toys for Temperature Play: 

Shop JOUJOU: Njoy Pure Wand

NJOY Pure Wand Stainless Steel G-spot / P-Spot Dildo

Shop JOUJOU: Njoy Pure Plug Stainless Steel Anal Plug

NJOY Pure Plug Stainless Steel Anal Plug

Shop JOUJOU: ICICLE No. 28  Pink Textured Glass Dildo

ICICLES No. 28  Pink Textured Glass Dildo


For some couples, temperature play sometimes includes using toys from the BDSM lifestyle, such as blindfoldsnipple clamps, spreader bars, handcuffs, and/or other sex toys. 

Ready to get things cold and cosy, or perhaps all fired up?


Article by:
Helena Lorimer at JOUJOU

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