Summary: Mutual masturbation is an exciting and sensual activity that helps partners become more comfortable with one another and their bodies. Whether pleasuring yourself with a partner watching or both participating, there are a lot of sex toys and techniques to engage.
Masturbation allows us to let go of our fears and insecurities, while focusing primarily on achieving orgasm; thus many of us find it more satisfying than sex with a partner. Through mutual masturbation, we can achieve this level of satisfaction while sharing the intimacy. This might be self-stimulation while a partner watches, or pleasuring one another simultaneously. Because it requires letting go of inhibitions, it may be intimidating for someone who is not comfortable with themselves, their partner, or their sexuality.
Many people, especially women, have a hard time focusing when having sex - or the opposite problem, they focus so much that they can’t enjoy the experience just for what it is. Masturbation is so intense that focus is almost involuntary but it also causes the body to relax, solving both problems. Together, it’s a great way to become more comfortable with your partner and can heighten orgasm during other sexual activities. Masturbating with someone watching is an exhibitionist fantasy shared by many, but watching your own partner is an equally sensual and steamy act to delight your voyeuristic tendencies.
My personal experience with mutual masturbation has varied from partner to partner as I have matured. The first time I became comfortable with it was in college, with a boyfriend who was one of my first sexual encounters and the first I was able to relax with. Masturbation, either watching or pleasuring one another, became a regular part of sex play. Often it began simply watching television next to one another, beginning quietly by ourselves and progressing to pleasuring one another. My husband and I have now spent two decades together, and know one another’s bodies as well as we know our own. Mutual masturbation is often a way to move into sex without saying a word or engaging in a tired foreplay that every couple can admit sometimes gets a little too routine and has to be spiced up. It makes the sex every bit as hot as it was when our relationship was new.
If mutual masturbation is new territory, make sure it is something your partner is willing to do. Nearly everyone will be excited by the idea but it may take time to reach that level of comfort. If unsure, practice masturbating on your own first. Explore your body and discover everything you can. If unaccustomed, you’ll be surprised at what you learn about your preferences and desires. Find every soft spot and crevice while locating your pleasure zones. Knowing your own body and where everything is will help you be more confident and comfortable while masturbating in front of your partner’s hungry eyes.
Mutual masturbation is a great addition to your foreplay activities as you begin exploring. When you and your partner are getting hot and heavy, back off and whisper that you’re going to pleasure yourself and he or she must watch. They’ll definitely become aroused watching you stroke yourself, and then you can add a vibrator or oils for added pleasure if you’d like. Do this a few times so you gradually become more comfortable with being watched.
There are a variety of toys that can be used for mutual masturbation, from your favourite vibrators or dildos to cock rings and masturbators and massage oils, but a great recommendation for beginners is the Tenga Variety Pack of 6 Eggs. This is a male masturbator with a variety of different textures, but it can also be turned inside out and used for women. They come in cute egg-shaped packaging that is casual enough to remind both partners to relax, and clean-up is easy.
To become comfortable with yourself and with a partner, touch yourself and gain the confidence to tell your partner how you want to be touched! Learn to explore one another and yourself in each other’s presence to keep the chemistry going long past the time it normally begins to fade away!
Article by Miranda at JOUJOU