Takeaway: We all have needs that have to be met even when we don't have the time or want the commitment of a romantic relationship. Learn how to navigate the possibilities of a mutually beneficial physical relationship without the constraints of love.
Many of us have had or seek friends with benefits - a friend to have sex without the burden of a romantic relationship. There are benefits and consequences, and the most important element to its success is ensuring that both people agree to the terms. Like all interactions between two people, this arrangement does involve a "relationship" but there are no strings attached. Ask yourself the following questions before you get involved, and for the novice make sure you stock up on advice and supplies for the experience!
1. Why do you want it? There are many valid reasons to consider offering this to someone or to think about accepting. Companionship is a strong need and perhaps you don't have time for a regular relationship but don't want to feel lonely, or you feel the need to continue to fulfill your own sexual needs. Perhaps you have a need for a "fill-in" partner. For example, one of my closest friends has chosen to be single but he wants to have a date for certain functions - work events and even friendly gatherings can be intimidating if you don't bring another person, and the assumption of a partnership keeps most people from pursuing you when the attention is unwanted. He always has a date for weddings, family reunions, office parties, and community events but the relationship is friends-only - with the perk of sex later.
Stock up on Hex condoms so you're always ready to go. One of the thinnest products on the market and designed to reduce slippage while increasing sensation, it's an innovation on a standard purchase that you're going to love!
Can you do it without getting attached? There are a few reasons to avoid attachment. While a friends with benefits situation can lead to a relationship, it's never the goal, and these relationships are more likely to fizzle out and come to a quiet end than they are to blossom into something more beautiful. If your partner wants friendship with benefits, expect it to stay that way and be aware it will end. As long as you remember this, a friend with benefits can be a lot of fun.
The key to this type of relationship is sexual compatibility. Enjoy bondage with some ironic unattachment? Hopefully your new partner does too! Try a light bondage bed restraint kit for some fun to test the waters.
Do you value yourself? Make sure you aren't in the relationship for all the wrong reasons - any reason to be close to the other person, or to hurt someone else. Friendship with benefits is about what YOU gain, so make sure you receive what you need.
A downside of this relationship will be that the other person isn't always around, but the point of it is that you have needs you want met too. Make sure you have your favorite toys stocked for self-pleasure as well as couples interaction.
Do you value the other person? While it may be all about you, it's still called a friendship for a reason. Treat them with respect. There's nothing exclusive about this sort of arrangement, and they aren't usually wide public knowledge, but the other person still needs to know you enjoy the time together.
A great way to show a someone you value them is with a gift item that shows you had them specifically in mind. We often promote couples vibrators with apps for couples, but in a non-romantic sexual relationships they can also be a fun way to signal a partner you may not see for extended lengths of time that you're thinking of them or wanting a night together.
What are you looking for? We touched on this in #2, but essentially, what do you hope to achieve? Friendship with benefits are repeat one-night stands with the same person, more or less. If you're secretly in love with this other person and fantasize about marriage with children then run, don't walk, from this arrangement. On the other hand, if you're a busy person not looking for commitment who wants to still have a little fun in your down-time, seek it out.
A great item for a busy woman who can't be with her friend and sex partner is a triple-rider dildo, with vaginal and rear entry all while massaging the clitoris. Men can purchase it for their female sex partner to acknowledge she has needs even when he can't be with her.
Hopefully now you have a good idea of how to consider a friends with benefits scenario and can approach an ideal partner with the idea of its right for you. Remember to be respectful of the other person while balancing what you want and need in the situation. Check back next week for ideas on how to spend a commitment-free Valentine’s Day with your non-romantic partner!
Article by Sara at JOUJOU