What is a sexual fantasy? Why do we have them? And what is the difference between a sexual fantasy and sexual desire? Well, these are some intense questions to answer—which we will. But we’ll also focus on sexual fantasies for men. 

Throughout the years, there has been a lot of research and studies on this specific topic. And with each passing year, we’re able to look more deeply into the realm of sexual fantasies. 

Today, we have an even bigger picture of the most common sexual fantasies for men and women, allowing us to predict new behaviours, trends, and interests. 

Having said that, we'll be discussing the 6 most common sexual fantasies for men in 2024 while referencing a recent study by Justin Lehmiller—one that will surely evolve, but still gives us a good indication of what’s hot and what’s not in the world of imagination in the new year… more on that later!  

The Basics of Sexual Fantasies: A Dive into Men's Desires

So, before we dive into a list of these common sexual fantasies for men in 2024, let’s answer the aforementioned questions.

What is a sexual fantasy? sexual fantasies include mental imagery that is sexually arousing to an individual, and can be extremely versatile, powerful, and imaginative. In fact, when it comes to sexual fantasies, the sky’s the limit. And because these fantasies take place when we’re awake, they’re called “sexual daydreams”. 

Sexual fantasies can be made up of intricate stories or romantic interactions, they could be realistic or unrealistic, they could be of a memory or completely made up, and they could be as intense or extreme as we like. This is because it is merely a fantasy. We are not bound by social restrictions imposed by social norms because they are not reality, they’re a private moment in which to view your desires—desires that you may not even wish to act out in real life. 

Why do we have sexual fantasies? There are a number of reasons as to why we have sexual fantasies. 

From the aforementioned study, here are the most commonly reported reasons:

• Sexual arousal, 79.5%
• Curiosities surrounding new sexual experiences and sensations, 69.8%
• Meeting unfulfilled sexual needs, 59.7%
• To escape reality, 59.4%
• To express or fulfil a socially taboo sexual desire, 58.4%
• To plan a future sexual encounter, 55.7%
• To reduce anxiety, 43.6%
• To reduce boredom, 40.0%
• To feel sexually confident, 32.5%
• To meet unfulfilled emotional needs, 29.8%
• To remove distractions during sex, 19.8%
• To compensate for a partner that they do not find attractive, 11.8%

What is the difference between sexual fantasy and sexual desire? This is an important question, as it raises another theme that people wonder about sexual fantasies. That is, do we want to do the things we fantasise about in real life? And that’s where these terms come in handy. 

You see, a sexual fantasy is simply an arousing thought or mental picture that you have while you’re awake. They can be spontaneous or deliberate, but the main reason why we have fantasies is because they generate arousal. 

But just because something turns us on doesn’t mean we actually want to do it in real life. Knowing that and being comfortable with this notion may help one to relax and not feel guilty or ashamed about the nature of their fantasies. 

For example, one might have rape fantasies, homoerotic sexual fantasies for men, group sex fantasies, aggressive sex fantasies, or even a fantasy about anal sex. 

By contrast, sexual desire is something that we actually want to do. It’s like a future plan or goal for our sex life. Even so, a sexual fantasy can become a sexual desire.

6 Most Common Sexual Fantasies For Men

Justin Lehmiller strikes again with another compelling study that looks at the sexual fantasies of men. 

In his study, he found that more than 98% of men had sexual fantasies but that having them did not necessarily mean any kind of dissatisfaction with their partner. 

Here are the top 6 sexual fantasies of men from the study of over 4000 men…

1. Power dynamic

This is more than just power, it’s about switching things up and allowing a man to have a break from reality. In this fantasy, the men admitted that they were usually the ones to take control during their sex life but that they fantasise about their partner taking over for the night. This was especially true for men who were more of a “take charge” kind of person in real life. “Sexual surrender is a way to say, ‘I need you to take control. I need to submit to you,’” says Dan Lacovara, therapist. 

2. Threesomes

The multi-partner fantasy is a very popular one for men, and not just so that they can bring in another person for themselves. Oftentimes, the idea of watching their partner being pleasured by another person is also a big turn-on. “Many men are excited about the concept of their partner being pleasured by someone else,” says Lacovara. The thing about threesomes however is that if it becomes a sexual desire that gets acted upon, it’s very difficult to predict the outcome. As Dr. Ryan Scoats of Coventry University says, “It can be an absolute sex romp,” says Scoats. “It can be about power, it can be about fun and excitement, it can be about alcohol. It can be that it was just there, and ‘Why not?’ And it can be all of these things and none of these things.”

3. Submission

In Lehmiller’s study it was found that men who identified as anything other than heterosexual were more likely to have fantasies about BDSM (bondage, discipline, sadism, masochism). With this fantasy, it pertains to the dynamic of the person submitting to their dominant partner. Being submissive is to have a mutually respectful relationship with a dominant, and to submit to them in such ways that feels good for both of you. 

4. Exhibitionism

By this, we mean public play. “For most people who are into exhibitionism, the turn-on is that it’s naughty,” says Lacovara. “It’s something that people aren’t supposed to do, and the arousal isn’t just genital.” Having said that, it need not be so overt as, say, being intimate in a public space. It could merely be having sex with the blinds open so that a passerby may just see you.

5. Domination

Just as we mentioned submission in number 3, domination is when one has control over a submissive. In fact, according to Andrew Smiler, P.hD., BDSM acts such as choking, power control, and rough sex are more popular in fantasies than they’ve become in porn. “Rough sex is a flavour that some men want on occasion, but not always as a regular flavour,” he says. “If you have to be very controlled in your daily life and you’re not allowed to have certain thoughts, in your fantasies, that’s a place where those desires are allowed to come out.”

6. Role play

A role play fantasy is essentially cosplay. “You want to pretend to be something or someone different, and that can be one of the more playful parts of sex,” says Lacovara. “It’s very collaborative, and you are creating a whole new narrative when you’re role-playing.” In this way, fantasising about role play is to be intimate with “someone new” while in different scenarios and experiences time and time again. 

Telling Your Partner About Your Fantasies

Now that we know the difference between sexual fantasy and sexual desire, do you want to turn your fantasy into desire? Are you wanting to talk to your partner about a certain fantasy or two in hopes of making it a reality? 

We understand that it can be very daunting and difficult. In some cases, you may be feeling very anxious, and may just want to avoid it. 

But before you do that, perhaps some of these tips, provided by David W. Wahl P.hD., will help:

• Prepare for positive and/or negative reactions
• Be honest
• When your fantasy “conveniently” comes up in a porn clip, turn it into a discussion 
• Use humour 
• Ask about their fantasies first
• If too shy to look them in the eyes, do it remotely—sexting
• Each person writes a list of desires they crave on paper; then, they exchange the papers with each other
• Play out the conversation in your head and plan for different outcomes 
• Seek help from a therapist about the best approach for you 

Male Sex Toys To Help With Your Fantasies

Having covered the ins and outs of sexual fantasies, as well as the more specific details about male sexual fantasies in 2024, perhaps there are a few male sex toys that’ll make your solo sessions fuelled by fantasy a little bit more enticing. 

These are our top 5 male sex toys that we definitely recommend:

	Kiiroo Keon Combo Set Including Stroker An interactive automated masturbator for men, the Kiiroo Keon Combo Set Including Stroker is innovative and compact. How is it interactive? You can actually connect to a list of erotic content from some of the world’s leading adult sites, thrusting in real time. Another plus is that this male sex toys allows for up to 230 strokes per minute, is tight yet comfortable, and is pairable with mobile VR Goggles.
	Fleshlight Girls Riley Reid Utopia Have you ever had a sexual fantasy of being with your favourite porn star? Well, now you can bring that fantasy as close to reality as possible (well unless you do actually get to be with them in real life). With the Fleshlight Girls series, you can have your way with porn star Riley Reid! This masturbator sleeve is a lifelike vagina that’s ribbed and napped on the inside to replicate her real vagina! Simply add your favourite water-based lubricant and go for gold!
	Rocks Off Fusion Xchange Prostate Vibrator with Remote (Set) This prostate massager from Rocks Off not only stimulates the prostate effortlessly but also the perineum—two very sexy erogenous zones for men. And after a decade of research, it’s fair to say that this sex toy for men definitely knows what it’s doing. Enjoy its three vibrations and 7 pulsation settings, as well as the fact that it’s made of body-safe silicone, is splashproof, has two motors, and a handheld remote control.
	PDX Elite Ultimate Milker 2 This milker masturbator has been designed to fully surround your shaft with vibrating and gyrating stimulation so that you can fully immerse yourself in a session of self-pleasure. The window itself is transparent so you can see yourself in action, and the internal TPE sleeve is made up of textures that’ll make you feel like a true king. You may also love the fact that it comes with sexy moans to heighten your play and that it has a high-powered motor that’s ultra-strong and oh-so-satisfying.
	Kiiroo ONYX+ Interactive Male Masturbator  It’s lightweight, quiet, discrete, and your new favourite travel companion. It’s an interactive male masturbator that can pleasure you at up to 140 strokes per minute. What's even more exciting is that it has 10 contracting rings inside to simulate the feeling of real sex. Some other add-ons that make this male sex toy worth it are the fact that it’s Bluetooth-enabled, and it can be paired with your favourite interactive content such as videos, virtual reality, camming sites and more.

Summary

And so, for those who feel as though this article was TLDR, here is a little summary for you… 

When it comes to the most common sexual fantasies for men, we’ve looked at recent studies to deduce the trends. 

They are power dynamics, threesomes, submission, exhibitionism, domination, and role play. 

We’ve also uncovered the fact that a sexual fantasy is not necessarily an act that one wants to do in real life and that a fantasy is just that—a fantasy. 

So, without guilt or shame, using fantasy and imagination during solo or partnered play can simply just make things even more erotic. 

And speaking of solo play, we recommend you take a peek at our top 5 male sex toys above that too can enhance your solo pleasure.